In one case
a friend's heartache was so bad that she became very ill. I
am sure it is safe to say; she eventually died of a broken heart.
For many years she fought the system to find out why her babies
were taken, and she helped to seek changes in the laws to prevent
it happening in the future to other young girls and their babies.
This young woman of 46 meant well in this community, using her
grief and heartache to do good for others. She spent many hours
searching and finding ways to fight the authorities for information
that would help her and many other birth parents to understand
why the authorities felt they had the right to treat us this
way.
When I decided to search for my son, I didn't tell my mother
that I was searching, I spoke with my children first, letting
them know that they had another brother who was a few years
older than them. They were pleased about this and were very
encouraging in my search. I then rang my younger brother and
sister who had no idea that I had another son they too, were
supporting and encouraging.
My eldest
sister did not show any support what so ever, so to this day;
I only talk to her when I really have to. It is a shame that
the lack of support was shown many years ago still carries on
today. As for my mother and father, they now know that I have
found my son, but they have not asked to see any photos and
they never ask about him. I wonder if it because they feel guilty
because of what happened many years ago. My son is now 21…
Some adoptive parents thought they were doing the right thing
by not telling them they were adopted, and now they live in
fear that some where out there, there is a girl who will one
day turn up on their doorstep and take their son/daughter away.
Is it jealousy? Do they the adoptive parents think that maybe
the birthmother could provide them with a better lifestyle?
Are they worried that the lies that they told the adoptee would
surface and the adoptee would hate them for the rest of their
lives?
Some adoptive
parents lied to their adoptive children - sometimes telling
them that their real mother didn't want them, or were drug addicts
who couldn't handle having a child etc… these are just
some of the lies that were told to many adoptees. What are they
afraid of? What are they hiding?
However there were the odd adoptive parents who did tell them
the truth…
Fortunately for some, their babies were given to families who
were there for support & loved the adoptee and did inform
him / her that they were adopted. That their mother did love
them and it was only because they were unable to provide for
them that they were relinquished - for the love of the child.
These adoptive parents were generally the ones who offered to
help their adopted child when and if they decided to search.
My son was
given information about me, when he was growing up and from
a young age was told that he was adopted. I believe that this
has helped with our reunion and our continual contact since
first meeting in 1997. Many adoptive parents did not know about
the coercion, or that some mothers were told that their babies
were dead…
I am in constant contact with a group of blackmarket adoptees
I know that these adoptees have lots of questions and want answers.
In the US, it is sad to say that many states are trying to oppose
the opening of records to adoptees, who are they trying to protect
here… there are a few birthmothers who have relinquished
their babies only to find out that their babies were sold by
agencies out to make a buck or two. Information on the original
birth certificates in most instances have been changed to hide
who they are and where they were born, in some cases even the
date of birth has been changed.
This not
only makes it harder, but it shows that so many illegal adoption
practices took place for many decades throughout the world and
continues to take place throughout the US even as I type and
you read this article… Too many illegal practices have
taken place worldwide and it is up to us, to support everyone
who is and has been affected by these illegal practices, they
call Adoption…
I know I have probably gone off the rails here just a bit, but
my comparison with the US and the world, shows that at the moment,
Australia has finally woken up to allowing adoptees and birthparents
access to Identifying information. Adoption agencies are now
helping in the searches of many adoptees and birthparents.
Victoria
- Australia is still a bit behind, and an inquiry will help
with this to allow birthmothers to have the same access to information
and birth certificates as the rest of the country. However in
the US, many adoptees have to fight through the courts to have
this information available to them. The question that all blackmarket
adoptees ask is "WHO AM I?" It is sad that so many
people have performed these illegal operations and got away
with it for many years.
