Mommy Tags
Some Call Her a Fighter, She Prefers Mom
Silverdale, WA (PRWEB) October 19, 2005 -- MommyTags.com owner, Kirsten Reed, has endured a lot in the past decade -- including the gunpoint kidnapping of her mentally delayed daughter and a bout with Bell's Palsy. Now 44, Reed is taking back control and celebrating the one thing that is most important to her -- motherhood. Reed's "Mommy Tags" are recycled silver tags engraved with a child's name and birth date. Much like a wedding band, they symbolize the awesome and eternal connection a mother has with her child.
In July of 2000, Kirsten Reed was happily married, had two beautiful children and enjoyed her job as a paralegal at a prominent Seattle law firm. Then, the unthinkable happened. Her mentally delayed sixteen-year-old daughter was kidnapped at gunpoint. Although her daughter managed to fight off her attacker, she sustained a nasty head injury in the process.
As Reed sought the medical and psychological treatment needed to help her daughter begin to recover from this trauma, she was blindsided by a second blow. According to her children, their biological father had been forcing them to perform sexual acts in front of him for years.
For months, Reed lodged complaints and called for an investigation if not an arrest. To her utter amazement, charges were not brought against the alleged abuser, but rather against the eldest of his alleged victims. After a prolonged effort by the prosecution to force Reed and her son to testify against her daughter, Reed took the radical step of going into hiding with her son. When the case was dismissed for lack of evidence and the statute of limitations had run out, Reed and her son reunited with her daughter.
Around that time, Reed began noticing some disturbing drooping and numbness in her face. It turned out that she had a severe case of Bell's Palsy. "It was as if my face was displaying for the world to see on the outside just how broken I felt on the inside," Reed explains of the illness, going on to add, "But I knew that if my children could silently endure a terrible secret for years, if my daughter could crawl home after being attacked, if we could beat the so-called justice system, then I could find the strength to fight this disorder." And fight it she did. That year, Reed made a full recovery and ran the 2003 New York City Marathon in celebration.
That was the beginning of happier times for Reed and her children. The same year, Reed's sister-in-law gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. In honor of the occasion, Reed made a simple silver necklace upon which hung a silver tag engraved with the new child's name and birth date. It was the first of what would become Mommy Tags and a new career. "I figured if the Palsy could manifest all the pain and anguish in my face, I could create a physical manifestation of something even stronger-the bond between a mother and child."
Kirsten Reed's recycled silver commemorative tags, which can be worn as a bracelet or necklace, are available online at www.mommytags.com and with select retailers. They have been popular with high profile celebrity moms like Gwyneth Paltrow, Julia Roberts and Courtney Cox Arquette, as well as the mom next door. In addition to her "Mommy Tags," Reed also offers "Daddy Tags" and "Tot Tags."
A Woman's Life On The High Seas
Life on the High Seas- C. Sinkula
What an adventure! Something out of tales of old. Tall sturdy masts flowing with silken sails above a beautiful wooden deck. Guests laying about on deck sipping tea or fruity iced drinks as we sail along. Cocktails at sunset on deck and exquisite gourmet meals served on a full table up top. The magnificent life of Reilly.
Reality, well it's a little different. Come with me for a short trip to the Sea of Cortez aboard a small sailing charter. The seas are beautiful and teeming with sea life; dolphins, whales, sea lions, manta rays, whale sharks, turtles, multitudes of fish species and pelicans, gulls and frigate birds. During winter the skies are mostly calm with light clouds floating above. Temperatures are moderate and conducive to lazy days of rest and relaxation.
The waters are cool and sometimes tempestuous but inviting to kayakers, snorkelers and divers. The shores are a mixture of cliffs, rolling hills on desolate islands like a moonscape photo with man-sized cactus growing in groves out of red rocks, and soft sandy beaches that call to you as you drift past them.
I should tell you first that I am enamored of this land and life at sea. But it is not what I imagined. I was born in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado, USA, where the largest bodies of water are reservoirs full of icy mountain water. Boating there involves paddling your canoe down small rivers or across quiet mountain lakes or for the adventurous, riding the raging whitewater rapids in rubber rafts hanging on for an exhilarating short ride in Nature's amusement park.
A move to the West Coast of America brought powerboats dashing across the wild waters of Puget Sound and out into the green lush islands of Washington and British Columbia. Travels around the world have sent me across water in ferries, cruise ships, power tugs and more. But never had I spent time on the elegant sailing vessels of the seas. Until now.
My fiancée is an avid sailor of more than 35 years and loves everything about the seas. For the past year he had been singing the siren song of the waves to me, enticing me with images of slow sails to nowhere, coasting in and out of little island coves, merging silently with nature. So we came to sail and take other willing dreamers with us.
We have use of several larger luxury sailing boats for our charters. After pouring over catalogs of the charter boats and seeing their gleaming spacious interiors I was ready. I thought. As I am a chef I dreamed of creating amazing meals for our guests to consume while lounging on deck. I had never cooked on a boat but didn't dream of any difficulties as I have cooked in many primitive and unusual places in the past.
My first experience of sailing changed everything. There is nothing quite so difficult as trying to prepare a sauce when one must juggle holding the pot, stirring and keeping a hold of a counter to stay upright. The first few experiences were hilarious and mind-boggling. Menus began to change rapidly from slow-cooked delicate dishes were timing is everything. No more soufflés, mousses, elaborate stir-fries or crepes. The first time a pan went flying off the stove and I followed soon after as we rode a swell I began to adapt my style.
Supplies are different as well. Everything must be brought on board as we leave our first port. The islands and shores of the Baja are not peppered with towns or grocery outlets. Water must be loaded enough for 7 days and any fruit, drinks, produce and baked goods must be scheduled very carefully to hold for the entire trip. Adaptations began immediately to the local cuisine as special supplies are rare and expensive after their 1000 mile journey down the peninsula.
But the adventure doesn't end once the meal is prepared. The boat rides the waves like riding a horse. Holding a plate in one hand, fork in the other and trying to also still stay on deck is more difficult than it seems. Luckily if guests get up early breakfast is leisurely while at anchor and late dinners once we've arrived at our next destination are a treat to linger over.
Needless to say times have changed. Sandwiches carefully wrapped for ease of eating have entered the picture. Cups with lids or straws to aid in drinking without wearing have appeared. And eating on deck is not necessarily something one wants to do while sailing. The boat is in and out of water, splashing and soaring until holding yourself on is as important as holding your food. Most guests want to help with the lines or simply be at point to enjoy the experience. Children scramble up and over the sloped decks like little monkeys grasping food in one hand and the safety lines in the other as they hang over searching for dolphins or other playmates of the sea.
We still sail to the isolated coves and revel in the amazing sunsets. Cocktails are up top as we soak in the deep roses and ambers of sunsets over the desert mainland in the distance. Dinners are elegant but tend to be centered around the bounty of the sea, caught fresh, cooked simply and served well.
I've learned to hang on tight or strap myself in while cooking and prepare much ahead of time because, like our guests, I want to be out on the deck reveling in the waves and the views as we coast along the beautiful Sea of Cortez.
The dream has changed but the experience has only deepened. For every little inconvenience dealt with there is an equal or greater joy to be found in the sights and sounds of life at sea below the sails and on the wind.
Identity Theft
More and more we hear stories of people having their identities stolen and facing all the difficulties that are descend upon us when that happens. It can happen to anyone but it seems to be more likely to happen to you if you're online. So here are 10 ways of protecting yourself from identity theft that we should think about implementing.Humiliation Breeds Anxiety
Anxiety is not pleasant, I've experienced it, my partner Stuart experiences it and it appears that many people suffer from anxiety and anxiety attacks every day...
Shanti shares her experiences with an article she wrote for Sensual Woman called - Humiliate Breeds Anxiety...
I do suffer from anxiety. Large crowds and noisy places put a knot in my stomach and cause me to want to flee, to find a safe quiet place, out of the public's eye. Why am I this way and how will I ever overcome anxiety and feel truly free?
It has been years since the dreaded incident, but I know exactly when my fear of large crowds and being the center of attention occurred.
I was 18, overweight, insecure about my size and being the focus of a lot of people. My step sister, a family favorite, was tall, slender, not model or pageant material by any means, but in the eyes of her adoring Grandpa, she was a real beauty, deserving of awards and parades in her honor. To Grandpa, there was never, nor will there ever be anyone, as beautiful as Jenny.
The summer festival was not too far off and Grandpa wanted more than anything for Jenny to enter the beauty pageant, to be crowned queen of the Summer Festival, to ride in a royal chariot about town for all to see. But Jenny, wanting to enter the beauty contest wouldn't do so unless I entered with her. That's where my nightmare and humiliation began
Being quite overweight, tipping the scales at 250lbs, I refused to be entered into the *Biggest in a Bikini* contest, to be paraded around town like some type of circus freak. I insisted that the family stop bothering me, to stop treating me like a joke, to stop harassing me!
I was called "Coward, Party Pooper, Scaredy Cat, Poor Sport, No Fun" and was given the old cold shoulder treatment, after a lengthy speech on how terrible it was that I couldn't do this for Grandpa, because "He's old and not going to be around forever and seeing Jenny win would mean the world to him!" I was made to feel so terribly guilty that I caved to the guilt and said "Ok"
The humiliation began immediately when our endless search yielded not one bikini made for an obese girl. Jenny had a wide assortment to choose from and opted for a neon orange bikini to show off her stunning tan and bright white winning smile. She looked so pretty in it, I admit. Body-wise, she looked like a model deserving of a crown. Face-wise, Jenny was average, not pretty, not ugly, just ok. But given the fact that the Legion that Grandpa was a member of was going to be judging the pageant, Jenny was a sure win.
The day of the beauty contest, the family hustled and bustled around Jenny, hair dresser to do her long hair, special makeup party, oiling her skin so she looked so incredibly bronzed. Grandpa was so certain that Jenny was going to be Queen of the Summer Festival the he planned a huge party in advance, dancing, DJ, banquet, a party so grand in honor of his Jenny, the fairest one of them all. Where was I?
Well, me, upstairs in my bedroom, trying to squeeze my obese body into a scant bikini, cried my eyes out. There was no hairdresser for me, no special makeup, no fuss, no muss, just me alone, red eyed and sick to my stomach with fear of what the day would bring. I was terrified, embarrassed, wanting to back out of the beauty contest, but knew that if I did bow out, I'd never hear the end of it and Jenny would bow out too and it would let Grandpa and the family down.
Now that the grandstand, where the beauty contest would take place, all contestants, including myself, sat tucked away and out of sight in a large motor home. We went through the roster of contestants, *Smallest in bikini 6 entries* *Biggest in bikini 1 entry* *Festival Queen 8 entries* I sat mortified, my body flush and breaking out into a sweat. 1 entry for Biggest in a bikini, 1 entry meaning... me... alone... having to parade around the stage by myself… in a bikini, in front of a town full of people that I know. I thought for sure I'd faint. I wanted to run… I wanted to die just so I wouldn't have to go through with it.
Well, they called for the smallest in a bikini to enter the stage, their names were announced and as the adorable little 3-5 year old girls paraded around the stage, the crowd came alive with applause and *Awwwwwwwwwwwwww's and So adorable! So cute!*
Then came the moment of my dread, they announced for the *Biggest in a Bikini* to please enter the stage. I swallowed hard, bucked up my courage and stepped out onto the stage. There were no Awwwwwww's, no So Cute! No So Adorable! There was no respect for the 18 year old girl who was only doing this because she was made to feel so guilty for not wanting to do it, that she agreed, and had been kicking herself every second from the moment that she said, "Ok"
Instead of applause, I got "Booooo! Baluga! That's disgusting! Get the whale off the stage before she breaks it! Hey fat ass! That bikini is so tight you might as well be wearing nothing at all!" I froze to the sound of laughter, the desire to break out into tears causing my heart to pound and I held my breath and turned my focus to my mother's eyes, hoping that for one moment, she would understand what the guilt and cold shoulder had done to me, that she would see for herself, that I was changed, that the last shred of respect I had for myself had been crushed. That I was a laughing stock of the town.
To make a long story short, I did win the biggest in a bikini and a grand prize of $15.00. Jenny became Festival Queen, banked a thousand bucks and wore her crown so proudly as all winners were put atop a large boat and paraded around town. I, envious to Jenny's cheers and applause and *Woot! Woot!*, throated a fake laugh when pranksters threw food into the boat for me. Tears masked as laughter.
I know it was a long time ago, but the scars of it linger on. I must find a way to overcome anxiety and fear of large crowds. I want to live and enjoy life, large or small, fat or thin, unafraid of ridicule.
I am making the attempt in baby steps. One day at a time. Forcing myself a little each day to put myself into the public's eye and telling myself each time that just because someone is laughing, it's not at me.
Incredible how one incident can change your perception of yourself, change how you feel, how you interact. If only people would put themselves into each other's shoes to get a feeling of what the other person may experience if forced to do something that they know within themselves that they really can't do.
I am learning to say no and it is up to other people to learn how to accept it. I am learning to let go. As to loving myself, I'm not sure if I ever will. But I am working hard to be free from my anxiety, so that I can live and enjoy the rest of my life.
Shanti