Well I left
you last time with me in a very scary and upsetting situation.
Hundreds of miles from home, laying on a hospital gurney, wires
from a room full of machinery hooked to my body, unknown people
standing around me and coming in and out of the little room made
of curtain walls. Bright lights in my eyes, making the strangers
around me even more strange looking. Sophisticated, medical garble
going through my ears, machines making beeps and little buzzing
alarms sometimes. I was raised a simple country bumpkin, spent
all my life in the wild, around all types of animals, wild and
domestic. Have stood up to any man that ever wanted to go at it
with me, even a few times when the odds were against me. Hardly
ever even visited a doctor before, much less ever been laying
in a hospital. Let me tell you this and the fact that I had possibly
already died once or twice and come back to life was scary as
hell.
A wife at
home with three small children, scared to death of what is going
on, no spare money for fancy traveling arrangements and no vehicle
to drive that distance away. My Mother down in the same area as
my wife and family, stuck in the same predicament transportation
wise. My Father driving a tractor-trailer over the road, somewhere
in Oklahoma between drops, a dispatcher trying to track him down.
Me lying there
worried about my family and what they must be going through, yet
alone trying not to think the worse of my situation. A grown man,
laying butt naked on a metal table, a white towel covering my
privates. Doctors, nurses and who knows what in and out of my
small cubicle, one nurse standing beside me, her hand placed on
top of mine lying along my right side. She was there the whole
time, that I can remember, like a guardian angel standing there
in white, even squeezing my hand and trying to comfort me with
talk of being alright during the times I broke down and cried,
yes I admit, I cried. She told me to close my eyes and rest, right
now I needed all the rest I could get she said. She assured me
she would stay there beside me till the ambulance got there to
take me away to the larger hospital were I could properly be taken
care of.
I was awaken
a short time later by her voice telling me it was time to go,
I tried to spring up in the bed, stopped quickly by a foggy head
and her hands on my shoulders. I wanted up, no I was to just stay
put and let them take care of everything. Being a stubborn man,
I insisted on dressing myself, and she informed me I had no clothes
to put on, they had cut them off of me when I passed out after
arriving there. She said I didn’t want them anymore anyways,
when I passed out the first time I had lost all control of my
bodily functions why I was unconscious. This was something I hadn’t
been told yet, but she says it happens a lot and to not worry
I was decent enough for the hospital staff, she had given me a
sponge bath while I was resting.
The EMT people
showed up and started transferring wires on me, taking off the
ones to the hospital machines and replacing with the portable
equipment wiring. Three EMTs to watch over me, one driver and
two in the rear with me, and a nice ride of a little over two
hours they told me. My guardian angel kissed me on the forehead
and gave me her best wishes to a full recovery, she walked out
to the ambulance vehicle with me, I had a hard time letting go
of the hand of my angel, they had me shoved in the rear door of
the waiting ambulance and the door close and locked so fast, I
never did get her name. Spent a little over two hours strapped
to a gurney bouncing around in the back of the vehicle. The driver
apologized every time the ride got rough, told her no problem,
it was easier riding then what it was in my truck when I came
down the same route the day before. Not sure if they gave me something
to relax and go to sleep, but I got some much needed rest in that
time.
It was dark
out when they finally awoke me, pulling my portable car seat out
the back doors of the vehicle, glad they had covered me up back
before they transported me, they unloaded me in the middle of
what looked like break time for the emergency room staff, must
have been at least twenty to twenty-five people in white smocks
and green scrubs standing around the entrance door.
This time
I had a room with regular walls at least, but the same strange
looking machinery surrounding me. Again the wiring transfer thing
took place, the cold stethoscopes checking all the heart beat
locations, the bright lights hiding all the human faces and the
usual little flashlight flickering in my eyes that were held open
by strange latex covered fingers. The typical mumbling of medical
garble going on, and even the typical little white towel over
my privates. I mean I’m not real bashful, but during a time
of crisis and confusion, I share wasn’t happy about being
nude in front of anyone that walked into the room.
Sharp pains
began to hit hard again, little alarms and beeps started sounding
off around me, people moving around faster, talking to each other
and that the last I remember for a few minutes, till I remember
hearing the words, he’s back, and those fingers holding
my eyes open and that flickering light again. Not sure how long
it was, but things were getting pretty upsetting again. People
checking pulse, heart rate, asking me questions, talking to each
other, asking for this and that, hands and cold metal objects
touching and probing my eyes, head, chest legs and feet. My right
hand moving around looking for the comforting small hand that
was there earlier that evening, not to be found.
Some time
later, the bright lights are turned off, the room lit by normal
lighting and people disappearing one by one, some pushing portable
machinery out the door with them. A male face finally shows up
in front of mine, I can see it perfectly, normal male face. The
doctor tells me I am now stable enough to go to the intensive
care unit, were I’d be taken good care of. He proceeds to
tell me what I have been through the last six to seven hours.
Evidently a massive heart attack, a couple of heart failures with
some associated nerve and muscular damage. After some rest and
some time for my body to stable out from the great shock it had
experienced, they will perform some special test to determine
how serious all the damage was.
Yes, this
man who was confused, sore, hurting and alone in his mind, was
tearing up again. He informed me that my Wife and Mother notified
them that they were on their way to be beside me. This only brought
on more water works. He apologized that he couldn’t give
me something to help my nerves and not much he could do at the
time for the severe pain, not till all the test were over. He
did say that I would be taken care of very much; I was to be in
a private room in the ICU and would be pleased with the staff
looking over me.
He walked
along side me as two guys wheeled my bed to the elevator, said
he’d see me in the morning and to get some rest. Up we went,
to what floor I have no idea, and I thought to myself, the floor
didn’t really matter, did it!
Well was finally
disconnected from most of the wires I was hooked to, slid over
to a soft bed and a pillow, some soft lights finally and an quieter
atmosphere. A couple of nurses replaced the two guys who had brought
me up and transferred me to the bed. The nurses introduced their
selves and assured me I was in good hands.
One asked
me if I would like to put a gown on, which she had ready in her
hands, they still wouldn’t let me out of bed but did sit
me up and two helped me slip into a gown and fastened it around
me. Now this is were I noticed a clear piece of surgical tubing
coming out of under the white towel that had been keeping me decent
as I figured a small towel could. What’s that for I kind
of ask surprised, that’s when I learned what a catheter
was, and believe me she didn’t have to go into much detail
and I wasn’t going to ask who performed that task on me
without my knowledge. They softly laid me back on the bed and
commenced to do the wiring thing and vital taking procedures once
more.
Lying there
with my eyes closed, oblivious of what all they were doing to
me that was necessary, I began tearing up again. Reassuring by
two female voices that things were going to be fine, and then
a third female voice telling me she understood that I was alone
and scared, but that my family was on the way. All I remember
answering is that I was scared, and then it happened, the feeling
of that soft hand on top of mine, softly squeezing it as the voice
said I know, we switch shifts in about an hour, you go to sleep
and rest, you will not be alone, so rest, as a second hand was
placed on my fore arm and the lights went out.
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